Away
I'm in the Florida panhandle. Oil has washed up close to where we are, but so far, these beaches remain open. I feel them trembling. Their turn will come. We played in the waves the other day and I felt covered in a slick film of sorrow when I got out.
I go to a Starbucks every day for a couple of hours and do some freelance work. I swim in the many pools that are here. Afterward, I feel hungry. At night, I feel tired. I'm not thinking about writing too much, and when I do, it's in a hypothetical, faraway kind of way.
My body has given itself to this thing called vacation, which is a very feeble but sweet attempt that humans have devised to fight the clock, fight the passage of ordinary time, to create a different version of time, to live outside of themselves and their wearying lives. It works until it doesn't.
I'm having a good time. Today I feel poked by a persistent sadness whose finger I can't grasp long enough to twist. Too oily, maybe.
I go to a Starbucks every day for a couple of hours and do some freelance work. I swim in the many pools that are here. Afterward, I feel hungry. At night, I feel tired. I'm not thinking about writing too much, and when I do, it's in a hypothetical, faraway kind of way.
My body has given itself to this thing called vacation, which is a very feeble but sweet attempt that humans have devised to fight the clock, fight the passage of ordinary time, to create a different version of time, to live outside of themselves and their wearying lives. It works until it doesn't.
I'm having a good time. Today I feel poked by a persistent sadness whose finger I can't grasp long enough to twist. Too oily, maybe.
2 Comments:
Vacation, when it's good, is so melancholy. You nailed it. I have this Updikean image of you ( or is it Cheever dammit?)swimming across the pools of Florida, alligator shadows in the corner of your eye.
Updike, or Cheever--whoever wrote that pool story would not approve, I'm sure. Of Florida. Or us.
ha, yes, it's Cheever--one of my favorite stories. and you're right, i think, on all counts <3
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