What to do when there's "no" food in your house.

1. Take every vegetable you can find, including ones in your freezer, chop if necessary, dump onto sheet pan, douse with olive oil and salt, put in 400 degree oven for 25 minutes or so. Transfer onto plate, more salt if necessary, and liberal hot sauce. Eat it and shut your face.

2. Spoon + peanut butter.

3. Spoon + Nutella.

4. Beer.

5. Tea.

6. Gum.

7. Call your mom and walk around while talking to her, opening and shutting cabinets, the fridge.

8. Stand in front of your fridge and realize that you're not at all hungry, but continue standing there.

9. Briefly contemplate making something "involved," like pasta, but then stick spoon in peanut butter instead.

10. Pickles.